We Oink Reporters LOVE it when a pork loving rag of a media outlet squeals for bacon. Take Tulsa World’s column titled Earmarks Eyed, for example.

For some inexplicable reason, six members of Oklahoma’s seven-member congressional delegation seem to understand the value and importance of helping to fund much-needed projects across the state, while one holdout continues to maintain a stance that helps other states at the expense of Oklahoma.

In reality English, this means that Tulsa World editors are throwing a fit because other states get more pork than they do.

Coburn repeatedly has refused to explain himself to Tulsa World staff, so we have to deduce his reasoning from other sources. He seems to espouse a hard-line ideology on federal spending that won’t permit him to consider even the most deserving of projects.

Can we get a round of applause?

Education funding is undoubtedly one of the most emotional issues in American politics, mostly because education plays directly into the lives of our children.  And schools never cease to ask for more money.  There is probably not an educator in America who would say that his/her school is adequately funded.  But on the flip side, many people say that schools are more than adequately funded and that educators use the lack-of-funding ruse as a way to excuse poor performance.

So given the heated, emotional environment school funding issues exist in it’s little wonder that wasteful expenditures of education funding seem especially heinous.  And when those expenditures include money for an inflatible alligator and an under-water slide that are supposedly to help “reading instruction,” it’s almost enough to make us want to blow our tops.

CLEBURNE — State auditors affirmed assertions by a citizens watchdog group that the Cleburne school district misspent federal funds for staff retreats, a trip to Mexico, excessive travel expenses and other items. . . .

The report sharply criticized district officials for inadequate internal controls, which the auditors said resulted in the misuse of $367,000 in federal funds. . . .

Documents were not provided to show that a staff trip to Mexico had been approved by the TEA before the trip, as required by the grant. Auditors also noted that the trip, which included community volunteers, did not fall under allowable uses of grant funds.

The districts did not provide adequate documentation to support a $9,800 administrative retreat to a Glen Rose resort and two retreats for Cleburne Middle School staff that cost a total of $3,000. Auditors said also said those retreats did not meet grant guidelines and exceeded the state travel allowance.

The district did not provide lesson plans or other documentation to show how rental of an inflatable alligator and an under-the-sea water slide supported reading instruction.

Inflatable alligators are fun.  No doubt about it.  And we Oink Reporters have probably enjoyed more than our fair share of fun in Mexico, but such things have little to do with improving education.

Your daily dose of government waste news:

• Chicago aquarium “sitting on hundreds of millions of dollars in net assets” received $1.8 million in earmarks from members of Congress who received campaign donations from Aquarium officials
• Miami Beach Teen Club used part of a $50,000 earmark to take club members white water rafting in Tennessee; “That’s a lot of white water rafting trips,” joked Congresswoman who requested the money
• Mississippi Congressman earmarked $478,492 to examine the feasibility of establishing a medical school that the Commissioner of Higher Education says that state has no intention of opening
• Members of Congress from New York promise to earmark millions of dollars to transform a bridge into the longest walkway bridge in the world
• Alaska village may be relocated at a cost of hundreds of millions of dollars; Most of exploratory work being paid for with $4.2 million Congressional earmark
• Obscure Florida road leads to controversy
• “The Road to Somewhere Shady”
• Congressional ethics group calls Senate vote for DOJ investigation into earmark scandal is “nothing more than Kabuki theater given the likely constitutional impediment to a Justice Department investigation”

This story is a little more local than most of our pork reports, but it still warrants a heads up.

Maggie Thurber has discovered an amazing abuse of tax dollars in the City of Toledo. Apparently,Toledo is gearing up to spend a whopping $600,000 to open several pool locations.

As Maggie points out, the City is taking the nanny state approach by deciding the costs are not relevant when it comes to providing comfort for citizens.

Kattie Bond, director of Toledo’s department of neighborhoods, said the benefit of operating city pools outweighs the cost.

“It is important to provide recreational opportunities for citizens,” Ms. Bond said. “We live in a city where we do get hot weather, so it’s important we provide a place for kids to at least get wet and cool off.”

Maggie also tosses in some pretty convincing numbers that lead to the conclusion this $600,000 project will only serve less than 2% of the population.

Last year, the pools served 25,151 entrants. The city did not keep track of how many of those ‘entrants’ were the same individual. They also charged $1 for entry.

In 2007, there were six pools open (one was a splash pad) compared to the 12 facilities opened in 2006. Despite the increased attendance at two of the pools, overall attendance at the six facilities declined 18.5% from 30,841 to 25,151. This clearly indicates that individuals who had access to a pool in 2006 did not travel to other locations in 2007 in order to “get wet and cool off.” (I just can’t imagine how they survived!)

As these numbers are visits and not visitors, it’s hard to estimate just how important this cost is to the general public. For sake of argument, let’s estimate that individuals likely to use the pool facilities will do so five times during the season. This seems a reasonable estimate considering the number of days the pools are open.

Using this assumption, the pools had about 5,000 unique visitors. The 2006 Census data shows that there are 74,896 children (under 18 years of age) in Toledo. Even if every visitor to the pools was a child, we would be serving less than 7% of the kids in the city. If we consider total population, those estimated 5,000 unique visitors represent less than 2% of the population.

Lovely, isn’t it?